I think I understand what he meant, the reason why he told himself he wanted to have sex with a guy without actually meaning it, because it relaxed his anxiety about what he “should” think and feel and accept that if he really felt that way before it would be ok. He actually reminds me of how I used to think when I was younger and naive.
It sounds like he’s very young, naive, inexperienced in the world and he’s trying to figure it out and put what he believes and the reality into his own perception. He’s just learning a lot of this stuff at a later age. I’m guessing he’s lived a sheltered life and has recently just gone out into the real world and now trying to figure it out. He just reminds me soo much of how I used to think before I had responsibilities and real issues to deal with.
I’ve been towed twice where it wasn’t my fault. The first was when the towing company towed my car by mistake (they were told to take the car next to mine and they didn’t check the make or license plate number) and the second was when my apartment complex told the towing company to tow any car with an expired tag. My car was towed despite having up to date tags on them. Both times I had to raise holy hell in order for the charges to be dropped.
as far as losing old videos goes, why don’t you make a second backup account on youtube… don’t tell anyone about it, upload your videos to both accounts and on the second make them private. that way if your first ever gets blown away, you still have them on the other.