My Dear Billy I Will Be Right Over With One Of Them Thar Pit Bull Dogs. No Wait A Minute; I’ll Stop On Down At Zekes Tire & Rubbers Shop And Borrow One Of Them Thar Mean Ass Dobermans. Then We’ll Just Sit Thar On Your Porch Listening To Some Patsy Cline And Hank Williams On The Phonograph. While We Smoke Some Of The Fancy Smokes I Get From Zeke.
When Granny Comes Up We’ll Ask HerrTo Join Us. Iffen She Does, We’ll Get Some Pictures Of Her Being All Mellow And Beggin You To Forgive Her Iffen She Says No We’ll Just Sik Ole Balboa On Her. You Got Any Of That Thar Shine Hid Under Them Floorboards On The Porch? Maybe We’ll Let Balboa Have A Few Snorts Of That. He Gets Right Me When He’s Had Some Shine. I Ken Just See Him Throwin Ole Granny Around Like The Bag-A-Bones She Is.
Damn Billy! You done did it. You got that ol’ girl coming for ya now! All i can do is pray for ya and hope TubeGranny is a bad shot. You know you should try leaving some Pills and some whiskey with a note on your front porch. She will take the pills and drink and when shes doing that get the hell out of there. your going to have to fully relocate billy and change your name. Be ready cuz shes’s slick! Peace brother, IronFistEagleClaw
Billy I think Tubegranny is distracting herself on mother’s day, her family aren’t bothering with her so she’s chasing after you to take her mind off her loneliness. Show her some kindness. If that fails I’d offer lots of beer from what I’ve seen it makes her giggle.
Well BIG bOY you got ya self into this mess and ain’t nuffin i can do to help. Except maybe get Granny’s attention so you can get away by showing her that LEG video i made today! Bwahahahhahaaaa! Mmmm…*clears throat* OK get to running i got ya back for about 3 minutes…*that’s how long the vid is* LMFAO! *kiss*
Hey Cuz’n. That ol’ lady is fast & nibble as heck. I tracked her all day yesterday. She easy ta follow tho. I followed her by find all da trees with their bark rubbed off from her humpin”em! Scarey thing is. They lead to da highway and I got ta noticin’ all telephones had wore spots on ’em to. They led right to dat exact 7-11!
Clerk at da 7-11 said that crazy ol’ lady did somethin’ da law couldn’t do. She run dem hookers off. He said some off ’em were literally runnin’ & screamin’! Run Billy Run Like Da Wind! I’ll do a Video as soon as I recoup from trailin’ crazy & horney ol’ gal!
Luck may be on your side Billy. If she needed a dollar for a Pepsi cola she just may well have run out of gas somewhere along the way and not have had a pick up truck pull up beside her to take her to Mobile. She may still be stompin up the highway. If I was you, I’d be running fer your hieaway by now.
Her boys Highheadjester and Klutz are comin’ to get ya too. I would help you but I’m afraid of Tubegranny. I’m “yella” and I admit. ‘sides that, I’m up north. I’m not experienced in these feud thingies. We just call that Christmas dinner at Grandma’s.
Hey Cuz’n. Earl Jr got her scent about half a mile from the 7-11 head’n ur way. Then we lost it again. Reckon da Aliens got her?! 😛 LMAO The thought of goin’ back in those woods makes me sick. But I gotta do what I can Ta help you & TubeGranny! BTW…Earl Bob is Still sober & ill as a hornet. He’s says if Granny don’t get ya he might! Not ta worry tho Cuz’n I got a little shime to use on him if he gets to riled. 10-4 & out!